and I had a looooooooooong talk with one of them...lol...more for me than for him lahz...the more I talked abt my life...then the sadder I became...lol...cuz really...it's juz too foolish...and now...I try to be my old self in front of her..which .is getting harder and harder for me...becuz...I will think of the things that I went through cuz of her...but if I keep thinking like that...it's never ending and we will only drift further apart even as friends...SO....*slap slap* I gotta wake up...and juz continue be there for her ONLY when she needs me...and stop hoping...cuz there is NO hope....(lol...I've lost count the no. of times that I told myself to give up...and I've lost hope in telling myself to give up...)

MEANWHILE...pls let me juz focus on my work....cuz I've been pushing them wayyyyyyy too farrrr back...cuz seriously no mood...which again is an excuse...my goodness...I am gg nutsssssss.......hmm...gotta keep myself busy....cuz everytime...when I stop thinking about something...she comes to my mind...

hmm...start work?? haha....